Lament: Honesty in Suffering
I’ve been learning a lot about the need for lament in the past 4-5 years. This moment in our country has led to a lot of pain and exhaustion, especially for People of Color and those on the margins. For me, learning how to serve and act in a healing way brings a lot of emotions. Being there for people I care about, working, keeping up with the stressful news, caring for my family and my own health was, on many days, more than I could handle. In fact, some days the injustice of the moment left me pretty raw, discouraged and angry with God. I can remember one vivid time a few years ago when I was feeling anger towards the white Church, disappointment with God (why is He allowing this?), the sting of betrayal of a friend, and the loneliness from acting on what I felt like God had called me to do. I was at the end of my rope and had nothing left. I was in my kitchen and I remember sliding down into the corner of the kitchen floor, in tears. “God, I can’t take this anymore. So many people are suffering but I have nothing left to give. Everything is a mess. I’m a mess.”
What I learned was that not only did I need physical rest…I also needed to lament.
Professor Soong-Chan Rah expresses in his book Prophetic Lament that,
“The American Church avoids lament. The power of lament is minimized and the underlying narrative of suffering is lost. We forget the necessity of lamenting over suffering and pain. We forget the reality of suffering and pain” (Rah 22).
So what is lament, and how can it be helpful with our pain? According to Rah, a lament is an emotional expression of grief for a wrong that the author has experienced or observed. Laments don’t need to pretend to have it all together before God….a lament offers space to bring our most painful theological questions right into God’s presence.
I believe that the language of lament and the invitation to write or speak our own laments can be a helpful concept for the Jesus-follower who cares about our broken world. It can also provide a path to connect our emotions and experience with the heart of God. Soong-Chan Rah found in his study of the book of Lamentations as well as the Psalms that are considered laments (40% according to Glenn Pemberton’s Hurting with God), “Lament is an act of protest as the lamenter is allowed to express indignation and even outrage about the experience of suffering. The lamenter talks back to God and ultimately petitions him for help, in the midst of pain” (Rah 44). Lament connects us with the heart of God that is compassionate, loving and also angry at injustice. Offering space for lament can lead us toward a healing connection with God.
That day on the floor of my kitchen, I began lamenting to God. Later I lamented with my spiritual director, husband, best friend, and eventually, wrote my own lament to God.
You can pour out your heart to God in lament, too. I used Psalm 13 and Psalm 42 as inspiration, along with this guide from the International Justice Mission. The basic parts include:
Address God directly. (What do you call God? What name of God speaks to me in this moment?)
Share something about God’s faithfulness in the past.
Your complaint. (What is the painful situation? What is your specific grief, anger or sorrow?)
My confession of sin or claim of innocence (How have I failed to trust and obey God or, in this case, how have I been faithful?)
A request for help. (Be specific)
A declaration of the character of God. (How has God shown up for you and God’s people before?)
Write a statement of Trust and Praise. (What will you choose, even despite emotions?)
*Summary taken from IJM’s Lament Writing Guide, compiled by Jim Martin.
One last important note is that lament is not just a practice for us as individuals. Many of the laments in the Bible are Community Laments, and can be practiced as part of a group or church service. Some of the Community or Communal Laments are: Psalm 12, 44, 58, 60, 74, 79, 80, 83, 85, 90, 94, 123, 126, 129, 137.* For an example of a Communal Lament Liturgy that we did as a J4R Church community, click here.
In our honest lament, both individual and communal, we connect with God’s heart, and with the family of God throughout history and throughout every culture and nation.
We are not alone.
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Bonus: For those looking for Lament resources related to racial justice training for churches, Latasha Morrison, author of Be The Bridge, has some here.
@soulcarewitherica.com
*According to Reading the Old Testament, Laurence Boadt, Paulist Press, 1984.
